Some Dreams Build the Bridge (not the Castle)

A plot twist that was better than the original script.

Bridge to a Castle by Julien Riedel.

It’s a funny thing having a dream that doesn’t come true. It’s a little like the relationship you wanted so badly at one point … and, in retrospect, it’s really clear why it wasn’t meant to last.

I love that former version of me. The one who went all-in on believing that one day, she’d be an Oscar-winning screenwriter.

I admire that she was so determined. That she believed in her dream no matter what others might say. And that she loved feeling lit up.

In my post, Not Every Dream is Meant to Come True, I share about how some dreams open the door for the real dream. The bigger vision. And as Dr. Seuss would say, the dream that matches your Youiest You.

When I reflect on my screenwriting dream, I see the gifts it gave me. How that dream led to where I am today. I might wish that I spent less time on it. Some days, I even get stuck in a mental ditch ~ thinking maybe I wasted time a whole lot of time running on the wrong path.

But that wildly anxious thought is not true.

If I look back with kindness, it’s clear how every year that I was in the film biz was building the bridge to my real castle. The gorgeous, feminine castle with roaring fireplaces and magic in every corner.

(No icy cold, damp medieval castles for me. Yuck.)

If you have a dream that didn’t come true ~ but ultimately led to the bigger dream ~ I encourage you to ask what gifts you gathered during that time. What came from the first dream that is paying off in spades for the one you want now?

A few of the gifts that I gained from being a screenwriter are…

A Rock Solid Understanding of Story Structure, Genre, and Plot

When I first became a screenwriter, I was in awe of novelists. I never, ever imagined that I would write a novel. It looked WAY too intimidating. All that space! How the heck did they know how to string a plot, characters, and twists together?

By starting my career in film, I learned story structure. Three act (four, really, but who’s counting?) plot and everything about twists and tension.

I was hooked! It was like being given the hidden blueprint behind how stories work. Why they grab us and don’t let go. What was magical about each genre. And what the audience loves and wants depending on that genre.

I loved it! I dove into watching every movie with a curious perspective on why it worked (or didn’t work). I surrounded myself with other passionate storytellers who were as hooked as I was.

We “broke down” (unpacked and analyzed) films and TV series together. We feasted on the thrill of stories that inspired us. Each one we watched was another leap toward the stories WE wanted to tell. They were the fuel to our creative fire.

Which leads me to gift number two.

Friends in Cafe by Quang Nguyen Vinh.

Discovering that a Creative Community Makes All the Difference

When I look back, the memories that stand out the most are the ones that include my writers group or my producers.

It’s not the memories of taking meetings or being offered a deal or learning that my script was going out to big name actors. Those are cool moments.

And, oh boy, do they fade fast.

The memories that put a smile on my face are the heated discussions about plot and character. The debates on how to make a script tighter. The generous sharing of ideas to support another writer to have the best chance at getting produced. The thrill of a shared passion with time flying by.

It’s taken me years, and a lot of perspective, to understand a simple truth:

It’s the sweet moments that I share with people that stay with me. Memories are the real treasure — and they’re most often created with people I love.

Which leads me to gift number three.

Sweet friends and coffee by Denys Gromov.

Meeting Sweet Friends Who Want Bigger, Truer Dreams for You

As I was about to leave the biz, a lot of people had opinions. That was a tricky experience when my heart was already aching.

Letting go of a dream that I’d held for so long was really challenging and heart-breaking. Never mind that I’m a Taurus. We hold onto things waaaaay too long. (It’s an ongoing lesson.)

Yet, in those trickiest moments, you find the people who want what’s best for YOU. The ones who ask what you yearn for. And are curious about what pulls you forward, rather than back.

One of the people who showed up for me is still a dear friend ~ she dove into novel writing with me. We published our first books together. And we cheered each other on through the scariest leaps of faith.

I also had an agent who actually jumped with joy when I turned down a deal that was clearly going to sideline me and gut my story. She celebrated!! And doubled-down on encouraging me to write stories about powerful women.

In the scariest, daring-est times, we find our real champions.

Kate leaning on her castle.

Building the Bridge Leads to the Castle

I wholeheartedly believe that by being a screenwriter, I built the skills and confidence that led to writing novels. Maybe there was another way. But this was my way.

Besides discovering story structure, creative collaboration, and real friends, I also got the gifts of knowing what I DIDN’T want. And that is worth it’s weight in gold.

• I didn’t want arrogant producers who refuse to respect their writers.

• I didn’t want to be forced to change my script from female to male protagonists.

• I didn’t want to value empty (fleeting) fame over real impact.

• I didn’t want to be rendered voice-less as others gutted my story.

In other words…

• I wanted to empower myself and other storytellers.

• I wanted to tell stories about brave, magical women.

• I wanted to be in a movement that respects artists.

• I wanted to encourage other creatives to claim their worth.

• I wanted to collaborate with other curious creatives.

The dreams that once lit us up give us many things. Friends. Skills. Perspective. Awareness. Self-Discovery. Memories. Travel. First Steps. Bold Leaps.

I’d love to know what dream you once held precious that turned out to be the bridge, not the castle. I wonder what it gave you.

We’re all going to have dreams that fade into memories. I’m grateful that the one that didn’t happen made me confident in the one that did.

xo Kate

P.S. If you’re looking for support to create with ease and harness the natural rhythms of the moon, I’ve created a Guided Moon Journal. Use each phase of the moon to align with nature’s support. Available on my Joyful Creating store.

P.P.S. I recently did a Substack Live with Jessica Ann from Wildest Dreams called, Building Our Dreams Together. Check it out!

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